My Child in the Army

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My Child in the Army

I am having a terrible time adjusting to having a child in the Army. I tell Child that I am very proud, it's a good decision b/c of all the wonderful benefits. Child is at pre-deploy training and it is killing me. I will never be able to handle deployment. I am just sick about this. I pray & pray & try to hand it over to the LORD's big, capable hands, but it is not working. I have tried talking to a my doctor & pastor, but they each tell me "Don't worry--you'll be fine!"
I am not fine. The Army will send me a casket and a perfectly folded, crisp flag. I just want my Child. The Army has already sent me the casket of the Child I once had because he/she will never be the same to me again.

I have called OneSource, Chaplains, Commander and no one cares or takes me seriously. I can say one thing for certain.
The Army does not care one bit about a mother!!!! I know all spouses and dependents are totally worthy of all the help they get--please continue support them to the max. My Child is single. I am not making it through this period.
Casualty Notification is the only thing contact I will have from the Army!!

Re: My Child in the Army

Thank you for sharing your story on the Real Warriors Campaign message boards. We would like you to know about resources that are available to you. You can contact the DCoE Outreach Center 24/7 by calling 866-966-1020 or via live chat at to speak with a trained health resource consultant about your concerns and to find out about resources and support that are available. Many of our partner organizations provide support for military families and mothers, including Blue Star Mothers of America (, which has local chapters that meet regularly, and Military1Click (, which provides specific resources for mothers of military members. Sharing your concerns with others who may have similar experiences can provide you with the emotional support you need to stay strong and support your son during the deployment cycle. The campaign’s article “How Parents of Warriors Can Support Reintegration” ( also provides tips to learn more about the military experience.

Re: My Child in the Army

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the prompt reply!!

I have checked out Blue Star Moms--no chapters close to me, and I have no money or time to travel to a meeting.

I have attended all the Beyond The Yellow Ribbon meeting that my work schedule allows, but I have been told that they are ONLY for the Nat. Guard. My Soldier is in the Reserves so they don't care. I do not understand how they operate, apparently, because my volunteering was ignored. (I offered to commit to shovel out--with the help of my Soldier--the driveways of families of deployed troops since it is a hardship during our winters to get shoveled out in the morning when you have young children. No one ever called. I sent the offer to the leader and SGT in charge of the mission--twice!) I guess I don't speak their language or something. The only time they accepted anything from me was the gift cards I gave to help out spouses. I can't afford to pay my own bills so this was a real sacrifice that went without any thanks or acknowledgment.

I spent over 30 minutes logging and looking at some link that was for the Military Moms there were married to the military. No one was the mother of a Soldier, and I'm sorry to say that all the posts on breastfeeding did not apply!!

I want to talk to a person!!! I finally reached someone at my Soldier's unit. The person in charge of the unit was at training, too. This nice young person assured me it was confidential, and I waited while they closed the door. I proceeded to explain my fears and frustrations because there is no communication. It turns out they are at annual training--not Pre-Deploy training. So what a difference communications makes??? Well, within a half hour, I get a nasty text from my Soldier to "Knock it off--I am getting them in trouble!!!" So much for confidentiality!!!! That really hurt any conversations I might have with my Soldier about anything to do with the Army!!

I had many worries and concerns about the Army before, but now I know they lie to your face, too!!! I did not want details about a mission or any information that would jeopardize the unit. I just want to talk to SOMEONE--ANYONE about being worried sick about my Child. The Chaplain was no help. I do hold Chaplains in the highest esteem!! What am I to do for help???

I am just sick over this and now my Soldier is being harassed or punished because of my worry!!!!!

Online chats are cold, and I don't have the money for a smartphone so I would have to be at home on my computer to use it. I have very poor health coverage that covers nothing. I work two part-time jobs and try to take college classes.

At this point, the only way I will hear from the Army will be Casualty Notification--and then I will not trust anything they tell me after my experiences today!!!

Re: My Child in the Army

I tried the links--the info is geared to returning from deployment. The links/info for parents lead to dead ends.
I listened to some podcasts, but there is still nothing for parents.

Thanks for providing some info, but there is still no one to talk to and no one who cares about my Child.

I am scared about this. The Army has already killed my Child. CN is all that is left. There is no hope for help from the DoD for a mother.

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